DREAMS OF APPLE CRUMB CAKE A LA MODE

I’m on a diet. I don’t need to be on a diet, but I am. My doctor echoes that I don’t need to be on a diet. I however am not comfortable with how I look. I am also in physical therapy and learned that the protrusion under my shirt is not only caused by fat but by changes in the way one’s body distributes it’s weight. To redirect those changes one needs to exercise the core muscles and not exercise the mouth.

Choosing a diet seems like it would be easy. Cut out fattening things. To a degree that is true, but not necessarily to a large degree. Different people’s systems deal with the break down of food in different ways. And there is a diet for just about everyone. Most work, but many only work for a while then you gain back everything you lost and sometimes more. Remember the Cookie Diet? ‘had a friend who lost 40 lbs. on it. Unfortunately man, or woman, can not survive on cookies alone, no matter how much good stuff for you is in them.

We have the newest fad, the KETO diet. I don’t know much about it other than it is getting panned by people who know about food and nutrition and getting good reviews from its advertising company. The Atkins Diet, which has had its day in the sun, is one that many friends have tried and many have gained back a ton of weight one they stopped. There is the Biblical diet. Here you eat only those foods mentioned in the Bible. My assumption is that there were plenty of fat people during biblical times. Besides, who wants to eat Ibex meat all the time. Enough said there. Daniel Abraham’s Slim Fast diet is top heavy with protein; carbohydrates are few and far between. Early on it had the worst tasting protein shakes imaginable. My feeling, anyway.

Biblical Porterhouse

One of the big diet successes of course was South Beach. The opening two weeks is brutal. You seem to eat boiled eggs until they are coming out of your ears. On the other hand, if one is in need of immediate gratification you’re gonna lose seven, eight, maybe ten pounds in the first week some odd. The rest of the diet closely resembles the Mediterranean Diet, which experts say is the best. It is a well rounded diet heavy on the kinds of food eaten by those living in Mediterranean countries. It can very easily become a life time way of eating without missing very much from one’s food life. Another one I know little about is the NOOM diet. This is supposed to involve your mind as part of your diet and change your way of thinking when it comes to changing the way you are eating. To fool with my mind I have a therapist; I can’t deal with a food therapist too.

But there are those people who need some kind of coach in their life. There are many such programs, some with very high marks. You buy the food, mostly their food, have AA type group sessions where people share their pain, and are there when you step on the scale for your weekly weigh-in. Not for me.

the food sergeant

My wife and I chose the oldie-but goodie Weight Watchers. She had tried it years ago and it worked. When we were decided to join, we did so because it seemed sensible to go with what had worked. For a while, as these new diets came out, even ones that would deliver each week’s food to the door, Weight Watchers got a little old lady look about it. But they had the brand, a brand that was respected, and decided all they needed was a facelift. Now Weight Watchers is WW. They too hawk food and snacks, but one of the things I like is they have the punch to team up with other products in the store’s freezer that print the number of WW points are contained in the box you are purchasing. But speaking of points…

In joining WW you fill out some stuff that tells you how many WW points you are allotted for the day. The program is constructed so that you can carry over points and has enough leeway to allow a splurge every-so-often. This morning my wife had a yen for a Dunkin’ Avocado Toast. Minus the bacon it was half her points for the day, she unhappily discovered when she went on line to calculate her points. However she has 30 carry-over points for the week so dinner will not have to look like something out of a shee-shee California restaurant where the portions are so small a bird would have trouble filling up on them.

Here lies the rub for me. If it weren’t for my wife’s obsessive approach to this, her constant checking menus before we go out to eat to plan a point assault for her plate, her shopping for foods that have good point values for home eating–we’re in love with our breakfasts, fat-free Greek yoghurt and as many berries, grapes, and melon pieces that fit in the bowl, sweetened either for her with vanilla and Sweet and Low or for me sugar-free jelly or jam.. Wakes up your mouth, very filling, and NO POINTS! Yet if I had to do this point thing by myself, I just wouldn’t do it. I was going to say couldn’t, but I know I could. I also know I wouldn’t. In losing weight, “Know Thy Self” is an important concept.

Eeny-meany-miney-mo

Something else with WW that takes some adjusting too, is the actual weight loss. One is told up front that weight lose is slow some where between a half pound or pound a week. You’re told not to get on the scale except once a week and to expect, if you haven”t been obviously a consumption idiot, that every-so-often you’ll get a nasty surprise and not have lost any weight at all or worse yet gained a half pound or more. That’s the body being the body. Deal with it.

Now we come to exercise. Yes, you should do it, not only for the weight loss but just because it is good for you. I could offer you as many exercise plans as diets. Probably more, but 15-30 minutes of brisk walking is pretty much all the aerobics you need. You can go on line or join a gym and find out what to use for your core muscles and, if you must, how much weight to lift, and how. I learned something else. I grew up with “you play through the pain” and “Just Do It!” Well once you’ve tripped over 60 that stuff is a no-no. You can end up hurting your body more than helping it. Geriatric exercise is something you need expert advice for.

I’m proof positive that you don’t need much exercise and can still lose weight. I have some serious arthritis in my back and neck. I can’t not walk more than five or ten minutes without paying a price. Walking on unlevel ground is a painful idea. I can’t lift weights because of my neck, which has had 3 fusions and sports a titanium rod. So I have a plan that is designed around building the muscles near the problems so that they compensate for the one’s that are on permanent vacation. This includes modified crunches to beat back my protrusion and working the muscles that attach to the muscles that normally would support my spine. Soon I will graduate to a recumbent bike. That’s a bike designed to place your body in a position that causes no pressure on back or neck. You get the benefits of a treadmill or exercycle without the pain.

So here I am. I started at 181. I am 6 ft tall, though geriatric shrinkage has begun. In about a month I’m down 11 lbs. My goal is somewhere between 160 and 165. We’ll see.

In conclusion, I don’t like the word “diet” and I try not to use it. It has a negative connotation. It says, “Hey you! There’s something wrong with you? No? Ok fatso, go look in the mirror or hop on the scale.” I think saying “I need to be healthier” and asking “how do I do that?” are the questions to ask oneself. At the very least, if you are retired, it gives you something to do. If you are not retired, it is likely to help you make it to retirement. That’s a good thing–at least from my perspective.